Mostly About Pablo

Soundtrack: Gracias A La Vida by Violetta Parra

The view from my back porch at Krotona

Many of you should know my great enjoyment of visiting Krotona by now. Lately I've been tying up many karmic and everyday loose ends, and at the end of January was another.

The first time I went to Krotona was shortly after the first time I went Madre Grande in 2013. After that trip I was asked to be a part of an experimental Partners Program, in which they pair up burgeoning Theosophists with very esteemed veterans. I have had the pleasure of Tim Boyd and Pablo Sender being my mentors for two years. They have both taught me so much about Theosophy and, I being the mentee, produced a number of projects to present to the attendees at Krotona.

Tim Boyd and Joy Mills

One project that came out of such effort is a book about Tim Boyd coming to know his Theosophical teacher, Bill Lawrence. I interviewed Tim six times, with a total recording time of about six hours. This translated into a 100 page book.

Between you and I, it is still not done yet. I have a graduate degree in Written Communication, and so I thought it would be breeze. I've written articles, and even books on my own, but using another person's story to write from their first-person perspective takes a lot of drafts - especially when its original form is audio recording!

I'll likely post about it when it is done done, but I presented a bound copy of my work in front of my peers. And to be honest, the value so far has not been in whatever product I produce anyway. The story of Bill Lawrence is one that has changed my approach to Theosophy. I don't want to hype it up beyond hyperbole, only to say it's not available, but any story about a young man and his lifelong teacher is profound. And this is about Theosophists, so I'm biased.

The Chronicles of ...Pablo?

It is interesting when you start considering a mentor just as a friend.

Pablo Sender is an internationally recognized presenter and scholar. Even when working at Olcott Headquarters in Wheaton, whenever I had a question on some obscure Theosophical concept I would just ask Pablo. To paint the picture even lazier, Pablo is often working in the award winning Theosophical library in Wheaton, but I would still go there and simply ask him. Who needs to read any reference books when you have a Pablo?

So Pablo and I hung out quite a bit, and I got all nostolgic for Wheaton. I miss all my friends back in Illinois. I know I am where I belong, the universe has spoken again and again in that regard. However I'm sure my astral self flies back to Wheaton in my sleep quite often leaving me to forget all about it in the morning.

So the only solution was to kidnap Pablo and take him back to San Diego with me. Ha! I like to kid around sometimes.

...But I'm completely serious about this. I took him up to the majestic Madre Grande Monastery amidst the singing mountains of Dulzura. Bishop Monica Magiar and Friar Allison Ritter somehow got us all - Pablo, Amber, and I - to sing songs and play instruments as a group with them. I used some wooden frog xylophone thing. This all sounds like a dream scenario as I type it out, but I swear it all happened!

I took Pablo to the San Diego Study Group which I've been spearheading here. I also prepped him on how "San Diego Theosophy" works, which is different than the rest of the world. All different Theosophical organizations are friendly to each other; many members of the TS Adyar will also have membership in ULT or Point Loma for example. However, we actively help each other here.

When I first arrived in San Diego I was looking at Unitarian Churches and libraries to rent space for a TS Adyar group. Ken Small, a Point Loma Theosophist pointed me to the ULT lodge. When I showed up, they were happy to meet me, and offered to let me use their facility for my group.

As such, my group has had better luck in starting up and getting attendees than most startups. It's like cheating, only I'm too focused on the work to stop and feel guilty about it. Lately we've been studying the Mahatma Letters.

Pablo in Lomaland

Me, Amber, Pablo Sender, Ken Small, and Riain Hager

Another fun adventure was going to the old Theosophical Lomaland, which was sold long ago to Nazarene University. I mentioned to Ken Small that we were considering going, and Ken offered to give us a tour - we were joined by my wife Amber and another San Diego Theosophist, Riain Hager. I've had the tour many times, and it is a delightful excursion. I should say, Ken is not some tourguide eccentric, he simply knows a profound amount of inside information about the former Theosophical village since his father grew up there, and is mother was born and raised in the community. I can only imagine what it was like.

It was nice to see other Theosophists get along as immediately and as easily as I do with new people. Ken and Pablo became fast friends. I'm sure we'll all keep in touch in the future. I intentionally did not tell either of them that the both of them have been intensely exploring the H.P. Blavatsky diagram of meditation in order to teach instructional practice to meditation students. Why not, you ask? The conversations were stimulatingly long enough, and I wasn't the only one attending our several hours long luncheon.

I had to give Pablo back eventually, but not before a fun day at Ocean Beach. Even we can't just think about Theosophy all the time. Plus it was January, and I always laugh out loud at the irony of going to the beach in January. Usually no one else gets the joke.

In Memory of John Drais

Today is January 15th, a year later to the day commemorating when John Harlan Drais passed away. John was the founder of Madre Grande Monastery and The Paracelsian Order, as well as often the elected Abbot, and Right Reverend of the Johannine Gnostic Church.

I have spoken before about my feelings of John's passing (here), and there are in fact many people who knew him much better than I did. So much of the spiritual movement in San Diego since the '70s knew John, and he liked having them as guests on the sacred land of Madre Grande. I have only heard a fraction of the tales, and only seen some of the pictures, but that land has been the location of many sacred hippie romps, loving music festivals, and life-changing spiritual ceremonies.

Since his passing, the monks and friars who continue the Order, have built a traditional labyrinth commemorated to John. When building it and dedicating it, friends and students were encouraged to contribute something to the time capsule that is now buried beneath the center space, topped with a heart shaped stone. Many people took the time to pick something meaningful and preserve it for decades. I can't speak for all of them, but I will say there is one copy of The Voice of the Silence sealed away in the stone box. It was a book that was profoundly important to John, as well as many Theosophical students.

A placard is mounted in front of the labyrinth with John's name, the date of his birth and passing, as well as a quote he often said to the monks, "Loving kindness all the time".

This year has also left us saying goodbye to Sunny the dog, friend to everyone who would pet him, and a very good friend to the monks at Madre Grande Monastery. He arrived one day wandering through the mountains and they fed him. After some deliberation he decided to stay, and he was family. How is this different from any of us there?

After learning of Sunny's death I kept having thoughts of John and Sunny together, a lot like in this photo. I know I wasn't the only one; everyone misses both of them and they were good company to each other.

There is a poem that poet laureate Michael Thorsnes wrote of John. I felt it would be fitting to put it here.

http://www.madregrande.org/healing/The_Nail.pdf

THE NAIL

Long before
they were machine-made by the thousands,
each like the other:
identical, indistinguishable,
for all purposes,
nails were crafted by hand,
each unique.

Though function not changed—
the joinder of the two or more substances—
through its uneven surface,
the early nail performed its task
at greater strength,
each ridge
seating itself by character.

Today, from time to time,
albeit rarely,
the smooth, indistinguishable nails
encounter an ancient brother.
John is such a nail,
easily distinguished from the common lot,
not just by appearance,
by function,
by strength,
but by corridors of an insatiable mind,
one yet to find its limit,
able through texture
to bring and hold us together.

A Theosophical Solstice Soiree

Soundtrack: Juventa - Move into the Light

Martin and Susan Leiderman in front of everyone

I have been hearing about Dara Eklund and Nicholas Week's Solstice parties for years. So when given the opportunity to attend this year, I held together a thin veneer of calm amidst my excess of internal excitement when I graciously accepted my invite. It's not an exclusive event or anything, I just wasn't close enough to the Los Angeles area before, and I am easily excitable about any social gathering of Theosophists.

Amber pointed out my geekiness later, but I don't care. I was surrounded by people who had written articles, books, and given lectures about one of the few things that really interest me. They are just people, but I am grateful to them.

Dara, Natividad, Me, and Amber

Just to illustrate my point, at some juncture of the party Dara greeted Amber and I; she took my hands in hers and sincerely said, "Thank you for coming to my home." As if an automatic response, I said in return, "Thank you for Echoes of the Orient, Dara." When my brain figured out what I just said, I did feel a little embarrassed. Luckily for me, there were some people playing music at the time and she didn't hear me clearly, so she smiled and assumed I gave a pat response greeting.

At the beginning of the party everyone sat down facing the front of the porch for a Solstice lecture, which was very well done by Susan Leiderman on the spiritual concept of Nothingness in lieu of the Solstice. Before that, an announcement was made that they had two very special guests who had come from the national headquarters in Wheaton, Il. It was one of those situations where you think to yourself, "They can't be talking about me. But wait, yes, they probably are talking about me." I had worked there for years, and I didn't see anybody else it could be.

They announced Amber and I, and we stood up in front of everyone and thanked them for their welcome. After I sat down, Robert Ellwood leaned over to me and asked, "But you're not still from Wheaton, right? You've been living in San Diego, correct?"

I shrugged and said, "They told me to stand, so I stood. How could I correct them?" He nodded in agreement in typical Robert Ellwood fashion. If I could get Theosophy trading cards, one of them would have Mr. Ellwood doing that reserved grin he does. I joke about it now, but I may need to invent Theosophy trading cards one day. (Update: This grin: robertellwoodbooks.info  See? I'm not making this up.)

A Constant Theosophical Topic

Even though it was such a homey environment, it still felt like a meeting in some ways. Dara made some announcements from her La-Z-Boy for example. She said something that made me a little sad, in that this would be last year she and Nicholas could have the annual party held at her house for health reasons. She also mentioned in passing that she knows many Theosophists have been losing their meeting places, as her group had also lost the capability to fund their gathering place.

I am in a unique place in this, in that I am a young Theosophist who has mostly come in contact with Theosophy at it's major center of business. People at the headquarters mostly focus on processing memberships, library books, printing magazines, and video production. Yet I suspected from my lectures at local lodges that there was an issue of dwindling outreach and interest in Theosophy. It is not exactly like living inside the palace, but it is certainly a different perspective of priorities.

Vic Hao Chin, who I will say would also make an excellent trading card, used to give lectures on how to spread Theosophy and why we should be focusing on it. Popularizing Theosophy or something to that effect. I always found myself hanging on his every word, but some people found his approach abrasive in that it made them feel like missionaries or proselytizers. I look around at this culture of people studying Buddhism, Kabalah, Gnosticism, and I think that this is the time! They are already here! But we don't want to leave our safe buildings and talk to people outside our comfort circle. We want them to come to us.

New Friends

Amber actually had some fun at the party as well. Both my wife and I are reclusive and introverted people in different ways. She gets bored at parties quite easily, for example. For me, I suppose I'm only interested in people who either talk about spirituality or comic books. When I got a plate of food and went to sit down next to Amber she waved me away from the seat next to her.

"Why can't I sit here?" I asked, courteously leaving out the rest of my sentence, which was "...next to the person I am married to!" She said she met a friend. I looked around and saw no one. Was this person named George Glass? Is the person standing here right now, invisible?

She said this person's name is Pattie and she used to live near Chicago like us, and she shares some of the same health ailments that Amber did. "How old are we?" I asked, "You're bonding over griping about your health? We're in our 30's."

I told Amber that she should come meet Martin and Susan Leiderman, who are interested in planning a tour with us to the old Theosophical Krotona location in L.A., possibly with with Stephan Hoeller. That's exciting stuff! I didn't mention that all 3 of those name drops would make excellent trading cards, but it kind of goes without saying.

After I spent my time talking to Nicholas Weeks (trading card) about the San Diego Theosophical Monastary, I returned to my wife and met the very real person, Pattie. Amber was finishing up saying, "...so even though he got scared of commitment since we were only freshman in college, I knew we were meant to be together. Eventually he came to his senses and now we've been married for 7 years."

I politely inquired, "Are you telling a person you just met our entire life's story? Have we even been at this party very long?"

She very accurately pointed out, "You should be glad that I am making friends." She was right. And we all had fun.

The evening concluded with a 3 hour drive back to San Diego with the friends we came with, Ken Small and Phyllis Ryan. Mostly we talked about the best highway route to get back to San Diego, and we joked about the stereotype of Californians ever only talking about the best highway route to get to places. Of course, I could say something about Ken and Phyllis making good Theosophical trading cards but I suppose at this point they are more friends and less like icons to me from these months being in California. Amber and I both think of them as friends by now, and we are lucky for it. So I would definitely get them to sign said trading cards, thus increasing the monetary value. Indeed, that's what friends do.

Here are some pictures of Brutus at Ocean Beach on his birthday, December 6th. Something we would never have thought of doing while back in frozen snow drift land.

 

Krotona, Krotona

Soundtrack: Joe Lutcher - Ojai

I've been in Krotona (a Theosophical school in Ojai) several times this month.

The first time was to meet my current boss in person. When I was moving out to San Diego I had the idea of my ideal job in my mind, something flexible where I could learn more skills online to support my Theosophical work. Through a friend I learned of another Theosophist in San Francisco who was doing network marketing, and could use some freelance help - so that is Nicole! I have been working for her since shortly after I arrived in San Diego.

Kurt Leland and Joy Mills

The second time I drove up to Krotona was to meet up with Kurt Leland, who is a very interesting Theosophist. He and I had been communicating over phone and email, and he helped me with my lecture on kundalini, so when I saw he would be nearby we organized to meet.

A little background about Kurt: He is very much a modern Theosophical mystic. Kurt first had an astral projection experience at the age of 14 years old, and has learned to practice it intentionally since. A lot of his personal spiritual experiences are up on his site kurtleland.com.

I had first learned about Kurt from being at Krotona about 3 years ago. Pablo Sender, Michele Shields, and I had been wandering on campus, especially on top of one of the hills nearby. It was very peaceful. When I told one of the campus residents about our experience she told us that everyone finds that spot peaceful. And in fact a Theosophist from Boston, named Kurt Leland, had clairvoyantly seen a deva (angel) that seemed to dwell in that spot often, to bless the area in a way.

When I met up with Kurt this month, he asked me if I'd like to take a walk with him. The memory of when I first came to Krotona came back to me, but before I could say anything, he explained, "There is a deva here that I like to say hello to everytime I am in the area."

I will say that, once upon a time, I would have been jumping up and down saying, "Hooray! Angel time! We're gonna get some angel souviners!" And, while I will never admit to being either older or wiser, I will say that ever since I've become a Theosophists - I have heard some crazy and verifiable stories about phenomena, and I a have plenty of stories myself. So my actual thought was more like, "Oh good. I would like to say hello to the deva as well."

As we were walking toward the hill, we were talking and Kurt was in mid-sentence, and there was a very particular line that we crossed and he stopped speaking. We kept walking but it felt different. I started laughing because that was just how the mood felt. It was nice.

What does it look like to see a man commune with benevolent spirits? Not like much. He would get quiet and put his hand on the larger older trees from time to time and smile. Then he would smile at me, as if I'd been involved in the conversation that just took place. I didn't mind, everything felt really good, so I was just along for it.

We hung out a few times. He gave me advice when I asked for it, and I told him about the Theosophical monastery, which interested him. He signed some books for me as I left. Good trip.

With Bim and Mel Burckes who ran Far Horizons for roughly 30 years!

The third time I went to Krotona was for the all day Far Horizons board meeting. I was elected again for the board, and I am currently Vice President of said board. It's a mitzvah, in my head, a form of service. I don't know how much I enjoy being in Theosophical politics at this moment, but I love to work for this cause that I believe in. The cause being the Theosophical Movement.

Far Horizons is a wonderful place that has been open to all spiritually minded families and individuals for 60 years. It came closer to closing, for inter-personal reasons, than most people realize. Many worked to save it, including myself, and even though I am new to the area I am working hard for it.

I ran the meeting in the President's absence, and we made good progress. Having the meeting at Krotona really made it feel like we were serving something greater than us, it reminded me of why I'm working so hard. And the smell of the eucalyptus trees on campus always really puts my mind in a calmer state, for some reason.

I look forward to visiting often in the future.

Chronicles of Brutus!

It's called Hoppy Hour. The San Diego House Rabbit Society has recently started to do this massive play date with excessive amounts of rabbits. It's a lot of fun. Ever since our other rabbit, Clover, passed away Brutus sometimes acts bored or lonely so we thought this would be good for him. He was not used to the younger bunnies' energy though. And he's kind of a home body now that he's getting older.

Mostly he just tried to come back to us. There were a couple of bunnies, that didn't socialize as much. But he had a good time. Here is a video!

Thanksgiving

I am grateful to my monastery! Here are some pictures from being with my spiritual family this holiday. I will say that it is a nice change to eat a meal where vegetarianism is just assumed.

Rising Fall

Suggested soundtrack: Medicine by Daughter (Sound Remedy remix) 
or if you don't like techno remixes:
Medicine by Daughter (original)

 

“A person needs new experiences. They jar something deep inside, allowing him to grow. Without change, something sleeps inside us and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.” 

- Dune

 

I gave a lecture in Wheaton, my old home, recently. It was great to see family and friends. The lecture itself was about Kundalini Awakening. You will be able to find it HERE when they post it if it is something that piques your interest.

The other lecture I gave was in Milwaukee entitled The Meaning of Suffering. It is ironic and interesting to me that this lecture is coupled with my first visit home in the Midwest after moving to sunny San Diego. So many people have seasonal affective disorder, and there is this somber overcast for many people in the Fall.

For me, however, October is my favorite month to be in a true Fall season. Not only is everything changing color but being German-Irish, I love the cold overcast. It is suitable that when everyone is depressed I feel very much alive.

I enjoy visiting study lodges, perhaps more than lecturing at the headquarters, because the format allows for more round table discussion. Because of the nature of the subject of suffering, it was even more important that I was upbeat and looked at all the touchy subjects with a sense of compassion. We shared stories about depression and seasonal affective disorder, we talked about the deaths of people close to us, and we talked about the idea of “have to's”.

I explained that the four noble truths the Buddha taught are about freedom from attachment, and we typically think of attachment as desire. “Have to” or “supposed to” is just as much an attachment, and while desire sends us seeking outward for gratification, holding ourselves and the rest of the world accountable to necessary standards leads to depression, because it fuels an anger that goes inward.

Another way of phrasing this is a quote that was once spoken to me: “The pursuit of justice is the end of spiritual growth.” Think on it.

A book I recommend, which I also talked a little about, is by the Theosophist, Vic Hao Chin, entitled The Process of Self Transformation. The intent of the book is to teach a technique purging oneself of stress, painful trauma, phobias, and anger. In essence, to expedite the freedom from suffering.

What I found remarkable about the book, and when I was actually taught the technique, is that it educates you on how suffering works from a spiritual and scientific perspective. The technique incorporates elements from Vipasana meditation, mindfulness practice, energy healing, cognitive psychology, and an understanding of the personal hierarchy of needs. It is also known, although not stated in the book, that there are a number of clairvoyants that Vic trusted who helped him as he was testing and constructing these practices which culminated in his work and the technique of 'processing'.

I've met Vic several times, including the opportunity to learn the technique from him in a class for about a week in Krotona. As I recall, this was almost 3 years ago and I was coming from visiting the San Diego monastery for the first time. I told John Drais where I was going, and he told me to say hi to Vic for him.

When I arrived at the large hall in Krotona I approached Vic and told him my name and that I worked at the national headquarters in Wheaton. He nodded and gave a polite smile, in typical reserved Vic Hao Chin manner. Then I said, “I have the privilege also of bringing greetings from John Drais at Madre Grande Monastery.” I think I may have tilted my head forward a little if I'm remembering it right, unnoticeable to the casual observer, but I was very much feeling like a formal messenger in the moment.

Vic's formal smile broke out into a completely unreserved one. “Oh!” he said, “You just came from the monastery?” I said that I had. “John is a longtime friend of mine, give him my best! How is he?” I said he was doing well. Vic smiled  and said “I am glad. Thank you.”

What I learned from Vic's class, and what I spoke of in both my lectures is the idea that understanding what we are, and how we work in a spiritual and energetic manner, can allow us to function more happily.

 

Past the Horizon

Soundtrack: The Call by Regina Spektor

My intention in what I write, as well as in what I do day to day, is to stay positive. So when I spend the good part of a month in politics, tying up loose ends here and there, or listening to various people vent about different things, it feels like a lot of uneventful stuff sometimes. Perhaps I have a selective memory about these things.

And yet, this was a very eventful month - some of which I would like to focus on more intently with actual narrative later, such as the dedication of the new labyrinth at Madre Grande monastery for the Autumnal Equinox.

The majority of this month was spent volunteering up at Far Horizons camp, and with settling many ongoing political disagreement regarding the wonderful place. I am happy to say that, despite the constant uphill, we are moving toward a good place. Next year the camp will have a more Theosophical focus, and there will be a carefully conducted election this year with the cooperation of everyone involved. At worst, we will have some debt to contend with, but I'll take that over arguing over who gets to be in charge.

Trin and I walking at the running stream off of Far Horizon property.

Another significant benefit of this whole Far Horizons business is that I got to know my Paracelsian Order brethren, Ken and Trin, much better. Ken and Trin became interested in being more involved with the camp since they live at the foot of the mountain in Fresno, to the point of starting a Fresno Theosophical study group. And Trin, being close to my age, has a similar interest as I do in bringing Theosophy to a younger crowd. As such, Trin and I both volunteered up at camp for awhile.

Ken and Trin are both awesome people, and I am glad Amber and I are brothers with them. That's enough to say for now, otherwise it might come off disingenuous.

Other things to be grateful for that happened this month in Amber and my settling into San Diego:

- Amber and I both have jobs. This is such a relief, and I feel as if I can begin focusing more on my mission in Theosophy.

- We have moved down from the mountain into a great place. It is an apartment in an old Victorian house, which is a joy for Amber to be in.

- I have created a curriculum of books to study up at Madre Grande and we have created a regular group to study that material.

- The United Lodge of Theosophists study branch near here has asked me to teach a class on the Mahatma letters.

- I have gotten to know some of the people in a Theosophical town in California.  It is called Halcyon, and the group is called the Temple of the People. They have been involved with Far Horizons for a few years now.
- I got to meet and talk with David Christensen at Far Horizons, who is a Theosophist that I have respected and wanted to meet for a little while now. Do read his article from Quest magazine.

Good things. It is almost time to really dig into my work. But for now, let us just focus on some pictures from Far Horizons, and be grateful for a wonderful opportunity that was granted to me, and the experience to observe all around me as it unfolded.

This tree was dedicated to the Theosophist Geoffrey Hodson (who I wrote an article on once).

The spiritual presence near this tree is palpable to many people who are near it.

A close up picture of the stream taken by Amber

Ken and Trin taking a picture with David Bruce, National Secretary of the TSA

Amber and I with David Bruce. It was good to see him again, as I did work with him for 4 years in Wheaton, IL.

Mount Silimon, a very visible mountain from Far Horizons.

I had fun.

Animals in my Backyard!

Here is my backyard! Lots of happy animals, and I enjoy interacting with them.

It's worth mentioning that Amber and I have learned a lot from being on this farm.  I came in as a vegetarian with an open mind. I'd like to still think I have an open mind, but I have stronger personal convictions on certain aspects of my lifestyle.

Amber and I watched the movie Babe the other night.  It was jarring for us, for a kids movie of all things. We've seen it before and it's a great movie, but during the scene where Farmer Hoggett is aiming his rifle at the unassuming Babe, ready to kill him... Well, Amber lost it entirely. If you recall, this is the exact manner, more compassionately than other farms I would add, in which they killed the pigs here. Amber said we can't stay here, which is something we've known for awhile. It's just a matter of time.

On a Theosophical topic, there's a thought in my head that I've been rolling over for a long time: Which is worse, karmically? Slaughtering animals or eating them? I'm sure there is a sutra on this, but I am exploring it for myself - in a way that is why I am here (on the farm and in life :P ).

The Theosophical view of not eating meat, or alchohol, or smoking is that it pollutes the body, which is the vehicle for the soul and the spirit.  In that sense, it's not wrong per se, but you're not doing yourself any favors by giving yourself another hurdle to overcome. The energy, the light, the grace (whatever you want to call it) that is constantly trying to be of help to you has more dross to try and work through just to get through to you.  If you are depressed, and you medicate yourself with alchohol and drugs, you're just perpetuating the problem.

So on this farm, I have felt that I have been covered in blood the entire time. It is just a feeling, as I am open to that stuff. Amber is less inclined toward the "woo woo" stuff, but she has started to notice it too. There's a heaviness in the air, even though this is a wonderful place and we enjoy it in other ways.  I love the animals themselves. But when we leave and come back, there it is. I'm not saying I have answers to any questions of "Is it better to this or that"; I have no interest in the hubris of certainty. But I definitely notice as one who does not eat meat, being on land with a slaughter grounds affects me.

Sorry to get heavy on the subject. We are very much having a wonderful time and are very happy. I only mention these things so that you can think about it for yourself. Maybe common experiences like this will help other people make positive decisions for themselves. Ok, I'm done with my soapbox.

Please do enjoy this video of animals in my backyard, I enjoy the critters, and I enjoyed making this video!